Should I Say It?

This is one of my older songs. It's called Should I Say It? and I wrote it on October 16, 2008.

I've been thinking
Every minute
Of every hour
Every single day
Wondering how I should say it
Or even say it at all
I wanna tell you before I know
That it's a little too late
'Cause I don't wanna stay here forever
In this cold lonely rain

CHORUS:
I just wanna scream and shout out
Tell you the truth right here and now
I want you to know
And I want to know
If you feel the same way
Or is rejection my reality?

I see you walk through the halls
And I'm thinking what should I do
'Cause I don't wanna live my life knowing
I'll always be without you

CHORUS

I'm just standing here
Debating
If I should talk to you or not
And it's driving me so crazy
They should have an instruction manual
Telling my if I should go
Scream and shout out
Tell you the truth right here and now
I want you to know
And I want to know
If you feel the same way
Or is rejection my reality?

As time stops in my eyes
You're the only thing I see
And I know this is my chance
But you're making it hard for me to breathe
Yeah, you're making it hard for me to breathe

CHORUS

Is rejection my reality?

CHORUS

Please just tell me
Should I say it
Or not say it at all

Still waiting...gotta test out the 3 games I bought for 80 dollars...GTA IV, Facebreaker and Burnout Paradise...I hope to have fun my last few days here. I come back on Sunday ... :(

Waiting at the repair shop, having the brake pads and cylinder replaced. Been here since 8:20 and I'm very bored. Went to my sister's game at Mitty High, girls there are not bad looking. Wish I went there, however since it is a p

Bottled Up Inside

My latest song.

I try to hide
And I succeed
My stoic face
Never decieving me
The hurt I always feel
You could never tell
I keep it all to myself

And it tortures me
Every single day
Yet I can't seem to
Walk away
From you
I keep it bottled up inside
You don't know how I feel inside
You don't know how I feel inside

I suffer all over again
And it's killing me
The smiles I smile they're never real
Look in my eyes and you'll see the real deal

And it tortures me
Every single day
Yet I can't seem to
Walk away
From you
I keep it bottled up inside
You don't know how I feel inside
You don't know how I feel inside

I look away
Every time I see that look in your eyes
I look up at the blue skies
Thinking why why
Why does it torture me
Every single day
Why can't I seem to
Walk away
From you
I keep it bottled up inside
You don't know how I feel inside
You don't know how I feel inside

It's killing me
And I can't seem to leave
I don't understand
How I can let it torture me
Every single day
Yet I can't seem to
Walk away
From you
I keep it bottled up inside
You don't know how I feel inside
You don't know how I feel inside

My heart is shredding
And you're not letting
It get any easier for me
I know I can't blame you
You don't know
The hurt I feel for you
The hurt I feel when I get a glimpse of you
Of you

And it tortures me
Every single day
Yet I can't seem to
Walk away
From you
I keep it bottled up inside
You don't know how I feel inside
You don't know how I feel inside

The pain I feel
It makes me cry
And now my heart
It desintegrates
The only person that can stop it is you
Just you

And it tortures me
Every single day
Yet I can't seem to
Walk away
From you
I keep it bottled up inside
You don't know how I feel inside
You don't know how I feel inside

So when I lay in bed tonight
I don't want to ever wake up
'Cause I know I'll dream of you
I'll dream of you

Never

I got my inspiration at school. Another song about unrequited love. I hope you like it.

So the story goes
Boy meets girl
He falls for her
She falls for him
And everything is alright
Is okay, so perfect
Nothing can keep them down

But now I love him
But he still loves her
I sigh
I can't believe I lost this
This chance
And it will never come again
Never again
And now I'm just standing here
Under a big grey sky
And he's walking away with a smile
With her by his side

So I try to stop daydreaming again
And it hurts to think
About what will never be
Never be because

I love him
But he still loves her
I sigh
I can't believe I lost this
This chance
And it will never come again
Never again
And now I'm standing here
Under a big grey sky
And he's walking away with a smile
With her by his side

So I look away
Try to take this crestfallen smile off my face
And my heart is pounding
So hard it's breaking
And nothing's there to keep me together

I love him
But he still loves her
I sigh
I can't believe I lost this
This chance
And it will never come again
Never again
And now I'm standing here
Under a big grey sky
And he's walking away with a smile
With her by his side

So I try to stop thinking about
The way they looked so good together
It's so perfect
And I know we could never
Look at each other that way
'Cause every time I look his way
I see that he still loves her
I sigh
I can't believe I lost this
This chance
And it will never come again
Never again
And now I'm standing here
Under a big grey sky
And he's walking away with a smile
With her by his side

So maybe I'm just sick
And maybe I don't really love him
Is it just my emotions playing me
When will get better?
Will I ever get better?

I love him
But he still loves her
I sigh
I can't believe I lost this
This chance
And it will never come again
And now I'm standing here
Under a big grey sky
And he's walking away with a smile
With her by his side

And so the story goes
Boy meets girl
They fall in love
I tear up because
When I'm thinking of him
He's thinking of her

Spring Break

Well I'm here waiting at Honolulu Internaional Airport, bording begins at 12:20pm and flight departs for San Jose at 1:05pm. If there are no delays, I should land at about 9:05pm on Californian soil. Iam doing nothing a the gae but surfing the web( iam writing this blog) had to pay $6.95 for two hours of unlimited access, what happened to free? Can't wait to board the plane and go home again. I love California.

Weather...Spring Break...Lyrics

The sun came out and now the clouds are back, hope it doesn't rain. Well its my last day of class, Spring Break is ahead. Time to forget that midterm I took yesterday-one week of California sunshine. Tomorrow I fly to the Bay and land in Mineta San Jose International. I will be able to drive since I came in Nov., I don't have a car here. I will be moving back anyway... maybe my life bores you but take a look at the lyrics written by my talented songwriting sister... now thats something that should interest you.

Technology | iPhone | Los Angeles Times

Technology | iPhone | Los Angeles Times

I Always Thought

This is a song that I just wrote. It's my favorite because it shows that I don't need a guy to be my shining armor. For once, I don't write about wanting something I can't have, I finally write about being just me and needing just me. This about not needing a guy to complete me.

I Always Thought

He's hurt me
Yet he doesn't know it
I'm crying
Yet he won't see the tears
I feel like dying but I'm gonna pull through
'Cause truth be told
I don't need you

I always thought
That I needed to be complete
I always thought
That you'd complete me
I always thought
I couldn't live without you
But guess what...

I don't need anything
All I need is just me
And I've already got that
You could tell me to cry but I won't shed a tear
You could tell me to die but I won't do what you tell me to
I don't take orders from nobody
The only person who orders me around is me

I couldn't do anything for myself
I was dependent on everybody else
but that will change right now

I always thought
That I needed to be complete
I always thought
That you'd complete me
I always thought
I couldn't live without you
But guess what...

I don't need anything
All I need is just me
And I've already got that
You could tell me to cry but I won't shed a tear
You could tell me to die but I won't do what you tell me to
I don't take orders from nobody
The only person who orders me around is me

I could never fight for myself
I always let them win
I could never handle it
I would just run
But I'm not going anywhere because

I always thought
That I needed to be complete
I always thought
That you'd complete me
I always thought
I couldn't live without you
But guess what...

I don't need anything
All I need is just me
And I've already got that
You could tell me to cry but I won't shed a tear
You could tell me to die but I won't do what you tell me to
I don't take orders from nobody
The only person who orders me around is me

I'd always shy away from anyone who got too close
Whenever it got tough
I'd give up my hope
But now my dreams are not just dreams
They're the future because

I always thought
That I needed to be complete
I always thought
That you'd complete me
I always thought
I couldn't live without you
But guess what...

I don't need anything
All I need is just me
And I've already got that
You could tell me to cry but I won't shed a tear
You could tell me to die but I won't do what you tell me to
I don't take orders from nobody
The only person who orders me around is me

I always thought
That I needed to be complete
A jigsaw puzzle needing the missing piece
But now I know it's always been complete
I've always been complete

Midterm...i need a break

Just took the Religion midterm, i don't feel to confident about it. But my prof. with drop the lowest of the two. I got a B at least I think on the previous one. So it shouldn't be that bad. Spring Break is next week, flyin to the Bay on Friday.

Martin Brodeur

A big congratulations go to Martin Brodeur who after a 3-2 victory over the Chicago Blackhawks at the Prudential Center on Tuesday surpassed Patrick Roy's record with 552 career victories. A incredible moment in the history of the NHL!

Nightmare by Jennifer Lynne Sison Rompon

have you ever felt so alone
felt lost and so torn
want to scream
but can't find your voice
nobody there
and the tears won't go away

i keep wishing
i keep hoping
that this is all a dream
a nightmare that i can't seem to wake up from
i want to wake up
i can't do this anymore
it hurts too much
wake me up
why can't anyone wake me up?

have you ever felt so hurt
no one cared
no one knew
you have to keep it inside
you don't want anyone hurt
but you're getting hurt

i keep wishing
i keep hoping
that this is all a dream
a nightmare i can't seem to wake up from
i want to wake up
i can't do this anymore
it hurts too much
wake me up
why can't anyone wake me up?

have you ever felt so used
he's there
he's just not there for you
it hurts but you don't care
any of him is better than none of him at all

i keep wishing
i keep hoping
that this is all a dream
a nightmare i can't seem to wake up from
i want to wake up
i can't do this anymore
it hurts too much wake me up
why can't anyone wake me up

have you ever felt like you can't sleep
want to but it's like you already are

i keep wishing
i keep hoping
that this is all a dream
a nightmare i can't seem to wake up from
i want to wake up
i can't do this anymore
it hurts too much
wake me up
why can't anyone wake me up

this nightmare needs to end
can't keep living like this

wake me up
wake me up

I Just Can't by Jennifer Lynne Sison Rompon

i don't know
how to tell you this
i just can't
ruin it
i'm so scared
of what you'll say
look me in the eye
or walk away

i can't tell you the truth
i hide it
and deny it
i cry
but these silent tears
are never shown
i try
but i'll never tell you
i just can't

i feel like
if i tell you the truth i won't
be the same
you won't be the same
it's so complicated
it's so frustrating

i can't tell you the truth
i hide it
and deny it
i cry
but these silent tears
are never shown
i try
but i'll never tell you
i just can't

it doesn't feel right
lying to you
just to make you happy
it doesn't feel nice
telling you this
when i love you
when to you it's just friendship

i can't tell you the truth
i hide it
and deny it
i cry
but these silent tears
are never shown
i try
but i'll never tell you
i just can't

i want to
but i can't
i try to
but i know i won't
you don't know
and you'll never know
i love you
but you love her
it wasn't supposed to be like this but it is
i'll get over it
at least i'll try to
i need you
but she needs you more

i can't tell you the truth
i hide it
and deny it
i cry
but these silent tears
are never shown
i try
but i'll never tell you
i just can't
i just can't
i want to
i really do
but i can't
i just can't...

Sharks@Ducks

The San Jose Sharks defeated the Anaheim Ducks 1-0 Sunday night at the Honda Center. The lone goal came from Travis Moen who deflected a Jamie McGinn shot on goal. This gives Moen his 6th goal and 1st against his former team. Evgeni Nabokov records his 6th shutout of the season and stole the show for much of the game. It was all Nabby!!! With this win, the Sharks clinched a playoff spot and brak the 100 point mark. We are one point back from Detroit(101) but have games in hand. Get prepared for a great rest of the season leading to the playoffs. Goi Sharks!!!

Feels like today...

Well me again. I am at Dole Cannery right now surfing the web,
listening to the bay areas party station. Just killing time. Today I
gotta tutor at 2:30 so it won't be long after this is posted. I went
to The Ala Moana Center today to take advantage of the Apple Store's
free wi-fi. However I initially went to the airport to time myself so
I won't be late for the plane ride back home for Spring Break. Was
perfect timing, left at 9am arrived at HNL at 9:52. Gives me hours to
spare since airport security is such a hassle. My flight will be at
1:05 pm next friday. Hopefully there will be no delays. The Sharks
play tomorrow at the Tank against LA. Go Sharks!!! l

Sent from my iPod

A quote from my friend

What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? - My Zipper

Sharks@Blues

The San Jose Sharks lost to the St. Louis Blue 3-1, Thursday night in St. Louis, Missouri. This was a heartbreaking loss as Detroits loss in the shootout puts them one point ahead of us in the standings. The Sharks will come back home for one game against Los Angeles then go on the road to Anaheim. Hopefully we'll get back to our winning ways on Saturday. Go Sharks!!!

Today

sharks.nhl.comWell today just like any other Thursday I'm waiting for my history
class to start. I wait because I don't have chem lab so my 3 hours are
open. The week after next is spring break for the University of Hawaii
system..so I will be heading up to the Bay for that week to visit my
nuclear family who I miss dearly. It will be nice to take a break from
all this crap going, and with the way my grades are fairing right now
I most certainly deserve it. Well the Sharks will play the St. Louis
Blues tonight. This will be a tough one since the Blues are one of
those desperate teams. But however the Sharks will pull through
because even though we are number 1 we still need those points to win
the conference... Detroit just can't win again. Go Sharks!!!!

Sent from my iPod

Sharks@Wild

The San Jose Sharks defeat the Minnesota Wild 4-3 in OT Tuesday night at Xcel Energy Center. Jumbo Joe started scoring off with an assist form Travis Moen at the 4:13 mark. The Moen would add an unassisted shorthander at the 12:32 mark. This leads to an exciting game. Unfortunately I wasn't able to see the game because of traffic, so I'll be sure to watch highlights. Stats courtesy of the National Hockey League.© Copyright 2007, National Hockey League 2009-03-10-21.53.40

G	Per	Time	Str	Team	Goal Scorer	Assist	Assist	S.J on Ice	MIN on Ice
1	1	4:13	EV	S.J	19 J.THORNTON(19)	24 T.MOEN(8)	10 C.EHRHOFF(25)	3, 10, 14, 19, 24, 33	5, 19, 22, 32, 51, 55
2	1	12:32	SH	S.J	24 T.MOEN(5)	unassisted		3, 10, 12, 24, 33	3, 9, 11, 20, 32, 96
3	2	5:40	PP	S.J	19 J.THORNTON(20)	unassisted		10, 12, 16, 19, 22, 33	22, 25, 32, 41, 55
4	2	8:38	EV	MIN	28 P.OLVECKY(2)	22 C.CLUTTERBUCK(5)	47 M.BERGERON(17)	3, 10, 14, 19, 24, 33	3, 19, 22, 28, 32, 47
5	3	1:02	EV	MIN	96 P.BOUCHARD(16)	5 K.JOHNSSON(19)		19, 21, 24, 33, 44, 45	5, 20, 25, 32, 55, 96
6	3	10:25	EV	S.J	9 M.MICHALEK(18)	29 R.CLOWE(30)	22 D.BOYLE(32)	9, 12, 22, 29, 33, 37	5, 18, 25, 32, 41, 49
7	3	13:56	EV	MIN	11 O.NOLAN(19)	3 M.ZIDLICKY(21)	9 M.KOIVU(42)	12, 16, 21, 33, 39, 44	3, 9, 11, 20, 32, 47
8	3	17:54	EV	MIN	11 O.NOLAN(20)	9 M.KOIVU(43)		12, 19, 22, 33, 37, 39	3, 9, 11, 20, 32, 47
9	OT	3:34	EV	S.J	10 C.EHRHOFF(8)	unassisted		8, 10, 19, 33, 44	3, 9, 20, 32, 41

http://www.nhl.com/scores/htmlreports/20082009/GS020997.HTM

Bored...Eastern Conference situation

Man it sucks bein bored all the time. Well just watched pens@caps and bos@nyr... pens win in shootout 4-3 and nyr won. This changes the playoff situation in the East. This also keeps Boston close in terms of points.

Sharks@Vancouver

The San Jose Sharks lost to the Vancouver Canucks 3-1 Saturday night in GM Place, Vancouver, B.C. Goals by:

1st period

	03:15 Alexander Edler (9), Slap Shot. Assist: Ohlund, Kesler
	06:02 Mats Sundin (7), Backhand Shot. Assist: Demitra, Kesler

2nd period

19:57 Joe Thornton (18), power play, Wrist Shot. Assist: Cheechoo, Blake

3rd period

11:48 Kevin Bieksa (10), power play, Slap Shot. Assist: Salo, Sedin This keeps the Sharks at 94 points and with Boston (95) winning 2nd in the league Copyright © 2009 San Jose Sharks and the National Hockey League. All Rights Reserved. sharks.nhl.com nhl.com

Sharks@Canucks

Tonight the San Jose Sharks will play against the Vancouver Canucks. The two points at stake in this game are crucial for the Sharks to keep Vancouver at bay and break the current tie with Detroit in points (94). Because of games in hand and a better record, we are number 1 again and if playoffs were to begin today, we would match up with the Dallas Stars. A rematch of last year. Until next time, Go Sharks!!!

Burnside: How trades impact playoff picture for all

Burnside: How trades impact playoff picture for all

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How To Create A Team For Dummies (Like Doug Wilson)

Doug Wilson is the general manager of the San Jose Sharks. He was also the first captain of them too so shouldn't he know what a team is all about? Apparently not. What, with the constant trading and firing of coaches. I'm fourteen and even I know what makes a team. It's not the best players, it's chemistry.

Yes, chemistry. Making the perfect team is like finding your soul mate. It takes time. You can't just think that if you lose a few games, you need better players. That's not what it's about. I mean, if you get into a petty fight with your significant other are you going to just break up with them? Most likely not because you're great together. You are whole with that person. It's the same thing with hockey. If you don't get to the Stanley Cup Championship, are you going to get rid of the people who made the mistakes? No, you aren't. You shouldn't do that. You don't do that because it isn't about getting that Cup. It's about training to get it with people you can work with. Are you going to get married to someone that you can live with? You should but if you marry someone, you should marry someone you can't live without. A team needs to need each other. It's a group effort, groups work together, not alone. One for all and all for one, that's what a team should be not the best players in the league. Hell,you can put the best players in the NHL on one team and I bet that team wouldn't make it into the playoffs. Why? Because those players won't know how to play with someone that is good at their best points. A team works together to achieve. Are you going to put a best scorer on a line of 2 Rocket Richard Trophy winners? Only if you want them to compete with each other just to get a goal. You need to have a variety so if one makes a mistake, the others can catch it.

Another thing about teams, it's not about what one can do it's what they could do. It's all about the potential. You don't need to have high draft picks to make a good team. For example, Henrik Zetterburg was 210th overall in the 1999 draft. Today, he is one of NHL's best. He is going to be in the Hall Of Fame one day and in 1999 no other team considered him besides the Red Wings. Why was he 210th overall? Because he probably wasn't good enough. If the Atlanta Thrashers got him in the the First Round, do you think that they would be Stanley Cupless today? Heck no! They would probably have a few Stanley Cup banners in their arena just taunting the 29 other teams for not acquiring him in that draft. The Red Wings took him under their red wing and created a masterpiece.

Why are the San Jose Sharks, or any other team for that matter, in need of a good trade when what they have can be worked with to become the best? To become Stanley Cup champions? Every general manager should take a good look at the team before they think of getting rid of someone. Sure make some minor changes here and there but don't get rid of the players that have been there awhile, the veterans. You keep a team the same for a few years and I'll guaratee you'll be holding the Stanley Cup in your hands before you know it. And that's all you need to know to create a team.

That Dream

Have you ever had a dream that feels so real yet not really clear? It's like kind of fuzzy but you can still smell and feel it. It's like there's a fog that makes your dream look a little distorted, you can see things but not clearly. Well, I had a dream like that a few years ago.

I don't know how to explain the dream besides that fact that it was so I don't know weird. I was talking to this guy and he told me to do something and I did it but not the way he wanted me to do it, which was the easy way. I just did it the hard way and did something so it wouldn't make me look stupid. It's really hard to explain but that was what that dream was about. I didn't know the guy but in the dream it seemed like I did. It's so bizarre. I didn't recognize the guy's outline of his face, his skin color, or even his voice. To me, he was a perfect stranger.

Yesterday, my dream came true. The guy I was talking to was somebody I knew, well know. I did exactly what I did in the dream. Hell, while doing it, I felt like it was deja vu. I didn't realize why it felt so familiar until I was done. It was so ironic. Everything fell into place. The guy in my dream was him. His face, his color, and his voice were the same. That's why I was so attracted to the guy. In my dream I knew him and now, a few years later, I really do know him. Too bad irony is a bitch disguised by humor. I can't believe I dreamed about him before I knew him.

I have always thought of dreams to be either what you most want or what you think would be the worst case scenario. So what is this dream suppose to be? What category does it fall under? Is it what I want to happen or is it something I don't want to happen? Or maybe even worse, both?

Am I In Denial?

I used to like this guy. I wrote 3 songs for him but do I still like him? I don't know. I honestly just don't know. I think I do one day but change my mind the next. Like I said I wrote music for him. He was my muse but I just wrote another song for the guy even though I thought I didn't have any feelings for him anymore. Am I in denial?